Publisher's Synopsis
I ONLY WANTED TO DANCE There I am. A dazzling smile, looking straight at the camera. A child known for having social skills, but all I remember is discomfort. I played the part, though, in that strange coalition of people. At least for a while. When I found a way to relax, I finally gave up the charade. Blindly pursuing the strongest impulse I had ever felt. The emotional relief was immeasurable. Now, I needed no-one. Even life-threatening consequences were obscured by the buzz. Desperately, I tried to silence the nagging about the harm I caused. Detached, chemically mind-altered, I left the realm of the humane. Was I sick? I simply know this - no healthy human being would do what I did. This is a tale of miraculously cheating Death and, Dear Reader, of what happened when I had managed that. Then I tell of the beginnings of making things right in my world. ------- This personal, funny and frightening memoir is about Lotten's successful path away from decades of addiction and on to recovery. You may know someone who is suffering from addiction. Or maybe it is you? In any case, if you are searching for a way out - read this book. PRAISE FOR "I Only Wanted to Dance" "This book is, first and foremost, very important as it deals with many aspects of addiction. It tells an engaging true story of a tough fight battling this disease, its many faces and its deceitful progression. But, it is also a book about awakening, surrendering and finding a way out. Filled with empathy and educational importance. Wonderfully written and beautifully executed. Peter Nilsson BSc Medical Biology and Chemistry" "This is a strong narrative that should be of interest to most people. A book that even youngsters ought to read, so that they never become seduced by romanticized descriptions of narcotics or alcohol. (Citation from booklet #12121088) Pia Holmstrom, Reader, BTJ, the Swedish Library Service" "Lotten's book "I Only Wanted to Dance" is an honest and well-written book about the progression of addiction and, most of all, about the painful path into a balanced recovery. Lotten gives life to the addicted parent's role and also portrays her love for her child. The narrative ought to be of solace to other parents and of benefit to social workers in search of solutions to help the children of addicts. The book moved me deeply, I cried about some and was gladdened by the others of the phases in Lotten's life. Everyone who comes into contact with addiction, whether within the family or in a professional capacity, has something to learn from Lotten's story. The book is all the more readable thanks to its strong narrative style and vivid language. Thank you, Lotten, for having the courage to share your and your child's life with us. Best regards to you both! Eva Edstedt, Former Manager at Malin's Minne""