Publisher's Synopsis
Do you want to learn how to read facial expressions and body language on sight?
Before we actually try to understand the concept of analyzing people, we must prepare ourselves to develop this skill. That is the first step to becoming a good people analyzer. So, the preparation begins with understanding some of the most basic aspects of human nature.
It is common among psychologists to compare human beings to onions. We, for some reason, like to cover ourselves with at least four layers so that our true feelings and thoughts are not seen by all and sundry.
The outermost layer, which is what strangers see. It contains the most superficial aspects of our personality and in fact, this can be quite different from who we truly are. The way we talk about trivial topics like the weather and current affairs with strangers we are meeting, perhaps, in a bus or at the park, reveals this superficial aspect of our personality. Our outermost layer only does small talk.
The second layer is usually what we reveal to those who we interact with a little more than strangers. A classic example would be with how we deal with our co-workers. With your co-workers, it is usual for people to open a part of their outermost layer to reveal the second layer and discuss some parts of emotions and work-related aspects more openly. Similarly, there could be some acquaintances and friends with whom you are willing to reveal a bit of this second layer.
The third layer is only for those we share an intimate relationship with. As is obvious, being able to reveal your third layer takes time and patience. A close friend, a spouse, etc. could be one who has seen this third layer.
The fourth layer is the deepest and the darkest part of our personality that we don't share with anyone. In fact, coming to terms with these thoughts within yourself can be uncomfortable. So, revealing this layer can be very, very difficult and, perhaps, can be seen if there is a kind of a 'soul mate' in your life.
Your ability to analyze people depends on how many of the above layers you can see. One of the biggest factors that prevent our ability to analyze people from developing are the mental barriers resulting from years of social conditioning and/or personal experiences. While some of these barriers are obvious ones like racial, gender, etc. kind of prejudices, there are many others. Every time we form an opinion about people without clearly examining the facts or correct knowledge or even the correct context, we are building these barriers, which taint our ability to read and analyze people well.
These mental barriers can also be in the form of some kind of fear and/or discrimination from our earlier life experiences. The more we learn to unlearn certain biases and conditions that are a result of our upbringing and/or the noise heard in the society we live in, the more accentuated we become with our ability to read people correctly.
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