Publisher's Synopsis
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever As a society, we've forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively - even to those we love most. We've become scared of other people's points of view, and of silence. Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others. Listening is about curiosity and patience - about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected. When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how. "Essential… part exposé, part rousing call to action, and part manual of practical advice... [Murphy] aims to restore the art of listening to its rightful prominence." BOOKSELLER "An essential book for our times. How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how." LORI GOTTLIEB "I was instantly hooked by Kate Murphy's simple but profound argument--that although listening is the foundation of communication, innovation, growth, and love, few of us really know how to do it properly, or where to even start. You're Not Listening is a captivating and enlightening book that provides readers with a road map on how to listen and why it is so important to how we connect, work, and live." KIM SCOTT "In an age when technology has made it easier than ever before to talk with each other, we've paradoxically become worse at listening. Fortunately, we have Kate Murphy to teach us how to reclaim this crucial skill. This book changed the way I think about communicating with the people who matter to me." CAL NEWPORT