Publisher's Synopsis
This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1887 edition. Excerpt: ... 25 cast into a freezing sea and clung for life to a fragment of ice. Till her attitude toward him became more benign, he accoyed his sorrow in the bumper of wine. Younger than Dolly was an unpromising lad aged fifteen years, known as George Washington Thomas Jefferson, but called Tom. Having the misfortune of being deprived of all reason he was what might justly be considered an idiot. The cause of this dire misfortune, according to the self-deemed semi-omnipotent minded sire, was that during early infancy an ignorant nurse ministered to him Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup to such an unreasonable extent that he consumed twenty-seven bottles in the first six months of life, which so shattered his mental faculties as to render him idiotic throughout life. However, a trace of the same malady cropped out in the father, and the offspring was, using a miner.alogical term, the true fissure vein. Tom's digestive organs were sound. He ate with gluttonous greed, disregarding all rules of etiquette. Knife, fork and spoon were beyond his comprehension, and he substituted his fingers in their stead. If a boarder chanced to be tardy at meal-time his presence was substituted by the idiot, whose first movement was to secure the most choice dish on the table. When admonished for his conduct, he made wry faces at the admonisher. The guests at length objected to his presence at the table, and he was given a table to himself, which stood in a corner of the kitchen. He seemed to be everywhere, and at the same time; during the afternoon (invariably he slept till noon). The guests gave him many a nickel and dime for riddance sake. This money he spent Oh gum. Erne, the youngest, ten years of age, was the pride of her parents, and also everybody that was...