Publisher's Synopsis
Everybody knows, in a general way, that the finest place in the world is-or, alas, was-the Dutchborough of Vondervotteimittiss. Yet as it lies some distance from any of the main roads, being in asomewhat out-of-the-way situation, there are perhaps very few of my readers who have ever paid it avisit. For the benefit of those who have not, therefore, it will be only proper that I should enter intosome account of it. And this is indeed the more necessary, as with the hope of enlisting publicsympathy in behalf of the inhabitants, I design here to give a history of the calamitous events whichhave so lately occurred within its limits. No one who knows me will doubt that the duty thus selfimposed will be executed to the best of my ability, with all that rigid impartiality, all that cautiousexamination into facts, and diligent collation of authorities, which should ever distinguish him whoaspires to the title of historian.By the united aid of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I am enabled to say, positively, that theborough of Vondervotteimittiss has existed, from its origin, in precisely the same condition which itat present preserves. Of the date of this origin, however, I grieve that I can only speak with thatspecies of indefinite definiteness which mathematicians are, at times, forced to put up with in certainalgebraic formulae. The date, I may thus say, in regard to the remoteness of its antiquity, cannot beless than any assignable quantity whatsoever.
