Publisher's Synopsis
I am an incest survivor. In previous editions of this book, I stated that my father first raped me when I was six years old and continued to well into my adolescence. I now know that the abuse began before I could speak. My psyche coped with this trauma by splitting in two-a child who experienced every moment of the abuse and another child who knew nothing of it. In her book, Miss America by Day, Marilyn Van Derbur, who is also an incest survivor, calls these personas the night child and day child. Neither my night child nor day child knew the other existed until my repressed memories surfaced at the age of 37-some twenty years after the abuse ended.I have been writing poetry since I was 15, most of it sad, much of it philosophical-all of it insightful even though I didn't yet have the ability to understand the insight. In retrospect, it is as if I were writing for a future me whose task was to re-integrate my night child and day child into a whole person. The title of this book, The Way of Reckoning, is the title of the first poem I wrote after my memories surfaced. It is the quintessential example of a poem written for the future me, describing both the violent upheaval I was beginning and the revelation of truth that would result. If you are a sexual abuse survivor, I hope this book helps you. I hope the poems give words to the feelings you haven't been able to express. I hope the poems let you know you are not alone in having these feelings. Lastly, I hope this book gives you hope that your wounds will heal as mine have. If you have not experienced sexual abuse, I offer this book as insight into the mind and soul of someone who has walked that path and come out on the other side.
