Publisher's Synopsis
It Requires a LOT of PATIENCE to Reed "The New MAGNIFIED Version of the Book of JOBE," just like it Required a lot of Patience to Write it: beCause, it is "a Long Boring Book," you might say; but, if you take your Sweet Time, and Reed all of it Carefully, with LOTS of Patience, you will be Glad that you did it: beCause, this Inspired Book contains a lot of Provable Truths that most People have never Heard before, nor Thot about. Indeed, our Selected King Stretches Out his Strong Wings of Great Faith, and Presents the Best Version there is on this Good Earth, which would Naturally Win any Literary Contest, just like all of his other Inspired Books, which are Designed for Honest People, only: beCause, no Liars, nor Deceivers will have any Part nor Inheritance in the Holy Kingdom of All that is Good. However, some Critics might Justifiably say that our Selected King has ADDED LIES to the Book of Job, and even Changed the Spelling of his Name to J-O-B-E, instead of J-O-B, which spells job, which is only Confusion within the Mind of any Innocent Child, who much Prefers J-O-B-E, or J-O-O-B, which is spelled that Way in Swanky Phonetic English, which has just one Way to Spell one Sound, every Time, which Eliminates the Confusion, which is Explained in: "The Public School of IGNERUNT FQLZ!" (HOW we have been GRAATLEE DISEEVD by CAPITALISM!) By The Worldwide People's Revolution! For Example, most Young People have made themselves into Education Slaves, just to Obtain their Deplorable Diplomas, whereby they might make themselves into Work Slaves of the Capitalist Slave Masters, whereby Uncle Sam can make them into Tax Slaves, Insurance Slaves, Healthcare Slaves, and so on: beCause, Poor Uncle Sam is 140 Trillion Dollars in Debt to the Devil, and Rising to the Occasion with another Election Deception every 2 Years, whereby he can Promise to Fix it; but, the Debts just keep getting Worse and WORSE: beCause, that is the Nature of CAPITALISM, which is Forever Digging the Bottomless Pit Deeper and DEEPER, in the Holy Name of "Progress." But, is it Real Progress, or just Retrogression, which is 2 Steps Forward, and 3 Steps Backwards? Our Selected King presents a Master Plan that no Perfectly Honest Person can Rightfully Object to: beCause, it Provides a Way for all Peoples to become Moderately RICH, just by their Labors, alone, if they are Willing and Able to Learn and WORK, even without any Diplomas, even if they can only Hoe Weeds in a Garden, or Pick Thornless Blackberries for making the Sweetest, most Satisfying Juice in the World! Yes, we would Bet that you have never Tasted of it, whereby you cannot Judge it, until you Do Taste of it. Likewise, you cannot Rightfully Judge this Inspired Book, until you Reed it from Cover to Cover, which is Guaranteed to Satisfy your Hunger for Provable Truths. But, Remembering those Truths will no doubt be your Biggest Problem: beCause, that is everyone's Problem: beCause of not having the Holy Spirit to Remind them. Otherwise, they would be Happy to Study all such Good Books: beCause of being Reminded of the Great Truths and Wisdom within them. However, we must Warn you that this Inspired Book is no Comedy. In Fact, we cannot Remember even one Funny Thing in it; but, we do Remember many Funny Things in: "The New MAGNIFIED Version of GALATIANS!" Therefore, if you must be Entertained with Humor, we Strongly Suggest that you Reed that Inspired Book: beCause, Circumcision is taken to the Chopping Block, whereby the Head of Lies is Carefully Removed with a Meat Cleaver, you might say. And nobody has Complained about it, yet. After all, even the Apostle Paul Hated it. Jobe does not Mention it: beCause, he had Better Things on his Mind, and you should take the Time to Learn what he Learned. God Help you to Do that, with or without any Patience.
