Publisher's Synopsis
More weird and wonderful sexual positions than at a Porn Convention being ring-mastered by Caligula and the staff of your local Erotic Shop.
It's not juts about getting into a mountain of flesh and playing hide the salami in odd and bizarre ways. It's not juts about giving your love life and sexual adventures a shot of Prozac straight in the arm. It's not just about free basing Kama Sutra positions like your an addict who just discovered his genitals. It's about having fun, breaking the missionary rule and not dying in the process.
It's taking tips from masters and mistress on where to safely put your hands before going gorilla mad on a wanton chest. It's about seating down with the experts and learning that certain anatomical parts aren't suppose to bend like that. It's about flicking your limber friends in the eye and doing it your way. It's about understanding that Brandsmart hides concealed vibrators in their racks of home appliances.
Sex is fun. Sex is Da Bomb. And there is no such thing as bad sex... Boring, dull, mundane sex is something all together different; that boogeyman exists.
What You Will Learn From This Book
- How to slap into the next State your one sex position rule. How to get comfortable with anatomical geometry that would make Spider Man whistle with awe.
- Over 100 fantastic ways to get him or her off... Hell even a couple of ways to get them off. Ways to be the life and spirit in any orgy. Hell even ways to incorporate appliances, Harry Potter wands bought at Universal that are now just collecting dust, and that Garth Brooks collection of singles you have from your olden days.
- Where the cameras are located in All Inclusive Resorts.
- What Godzilla size pitfalls lie, like radioactive Venus fly traps, in your bedroom. How to sex proof your house and not break your neck while doing such wonderful positions as The Pretzel.
- Depraved and outlandish behavior from other sexual rockers out there. Tales and stories to lighten the mood, brighten your heart and get you running towards the hills screaming: "what is wrong with people?"
- Quotes from actors, comedians, adult film stars, your neighbors, that bum down the street with the tin foil hat, Russian Circus acts, and a politician or two.
- The Bohemian Rhapsody... I won't spoil it... But It is the Ultimate Sex Position. If you want to ensnare them, or at the very least ruin them for all other lovers, then look no further.
- Positions... Positions... and more positions.
