Living A Lie Series: Part One & Two - Living a Lie

This is my no-holds-barred story, the truth in all its gory details. It's certainly not a romantic story, although, it had its moments.
My life didn't turn out how I envisioned it but looking back I can't say I regret it either, and I'll explain the reason or reasons for that in my story. It all went wrong when I was seventeen years old. However, it wasn't all a picnic up to that point either. Well, nearly nineteen years later and I can tell you, it's true what they say, you learn by your mistakes, and boy, I made a lot of them.
I was pulled through the wringer and left feeling lost, alone and confused. So much so, that I'm sucked deep into my own mind. Lost inside my own mind I became comfortable; it was a place where I could hide. The darkness inside my own mind became my respite, my shelter, and a buffer from the devastation of my own broken dreams. I became trapped there as I searched in circles for answers, surviving but not living. I was torn up by guilt and felt as though I was being punished for perceived faults.
Confusion and turmoil became my only companions. I needed to escape, to start living again, but did I have the strength to crawl out, and escape the void? Better yet, did I want to, because if I did, would I still recognise myself? Travel with me through my earlier life. It may make you uncomfortable as I bluntly describe that time for you, but it's a form of therapy for me.