Publisher's Synopsis
In An Angel in a Dark Place I talked about how my father had repeatedly taken me to be abused by paedophiles, over a period of a year to 18 months. He himself had been molesting me for years prior to this. To keep the secret safe he always said if I told I would be shamed, blamed and rejected. He emphasised that I would be sent to prison, would never see my family again, and that my mother would hate me. He made sure I knew I would be outcasted and everyone would know all the terrible things I had done. As a child these words had a massive impact on me. I spent each day in terror. Terror that my mother would somehow find out what I had been doing, and send me away. I thought my mother would never forgive me, who could she? I was shameful, deceitful, guilty, and bad - that's what I believed. Dealing with this kind of threat had a huge influence on me. Living in fear like this left its mark. Being made to feel bad, shameful and despicable is highly damaging. This damage has been far-reaching. It is my belief that if we are told something enough, or have enough trauma etched in our unconscious mind, we can live that reality out again. Re-experience it as an adult, unwittingly and without conscious knowledge of the underlying forces. I believe from personal experience that our mind can retrace patterns from our past, because in part it is programmed that way. It also does this so we remember, and heal the pain and torture from that time. I know this because it happened to me. See how the secret I needed to keep due to my fathers fear of retribution, my mothers neglect, and other childhood experiences finally erupted to cause earth-shattering changes in my families life. Understand how my inner child finally came undone
