I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both A Novel, or an Annotated Mixtape

Set in the suburbs of Los Angeles and New York City, I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both is an immersive journey into the life and mind of Khaki Oliver, who's perennially trying to disappear into something: a codependent friendship, an ill-advised boyfriend, the punk scene, or simply, the ether. These days it's a meaningless job and a comfortingly empty apartment. Then, after a decade of estrangement, she receives a letter from her former best friend. Fiona's throwing a party for her newly adopted daughter and wants Khaki to join the celebration. Khaki is equal parts terrified and tempted to reconnect. Their platonic love was confusing, all-consuming, and encouraged their worst impulses. While stalling her RSVP, Khaki starts crafting the perfect mixtape - revisiting memories of formative shows, failed romances, and the ups and downs of desire and denial - while weighing the risks and rewards of saying yes to Fiona again. One song at a time, from 1980s hardcore to 2010s emo, the sh