How to Scam the Elderly Because They Won't Remember Anyway

How to Scam the Elderly: Because They Won't Remember AnywayBy Lord Magnificent
Ever wanted to be a terrible human being but lacked the initiative? Well, congratulations, you lazy degenerate-this book is your one-way ticket to eternal damnation and possibly a nursing home restraining order. How to Scam the Elderly: Because They Won't Remember Anyway is the definitive satirical guide to becoming the sleaziest con artist alive, as long as your moral compass is as broken as a Life Alert bracelet at the bottom of a stairwell. This isn't just a book. It's a survival manual for ethically challenged opportunists who look at Grandma's savings and see an all-expenses-paid trip to Cancun. Inside, you'll find chapters so devious, so absurdly over-the-top, even the most clueless grifter will feel like a Wall Street executive by the time they turn the last page.Inside this morally repugnant dumpster fire of a book:

• Building Your Persona: Learn how to transform from a greasy basement-dweller into the grandchild they never had (or wanted). Spoiler: cardigans and a fake Bible work wonders.
• The Art of the Sob Story: Master the craft of crocodile tears with tales so heart-wrenching, even a bingo champion will throw their pension at you.
• Tech Scams for the Digitally Clueless: Because anyone who thinks "Wi-Fi" is a dessert is an ATM waiting to be hacked.
• Door-to-Door Deception: How to sell fake roof repairs, driveway sealing, and "home security upgrades" to seniors who still think milkmen are a thing.
• The Long Con: Slowly drain their bank accounts one bingo night at a time, while they thank you for the privilege.
• Exit Strategy: When Todd, their 40-year-old deadbeat son, starts asking questions, it's time to vanish faster than Grandpa's memory.

DISCLAIMER (for the terminally clueless): This book is SATIRE. If you think this is an actual guide to elderly exploitation, you should be in prison, not on Amazon. Every "scam" in here is so ridiculously over-the-top that even a lobotomized goldfish wouldn't believe it's real. If you somehow manage to get arrested after reading this, that's on you, champ. Good luck explaining it to the judge.
This book is the perfect gag gift, white elephant nightmare, or regrettable Secret Santa exchange. Whether you're buying it to horrify your in-laws, prank your morally questionable friends, or simply marvel at the depths of human depravity, How to Scam the Elderly is guaranteed to leave an impression-probably a bad one. So, go ahead. Buy it. Just know that every copy sold probably takes a year off your karma balance.