Publisher's Synopsis
In this tongue-in-cheek satirical comedy, go inside the mind of psychotic social deviant, Jeremy Jude, who takes the time write his memoir when he turns 30. After a near-death experience, he realizes he has never told the world he is a certifiable genius. Jeremy recounts his life and divulges his theories about sex, love, tapioca, art, making wishes, charities, LSD, airplanes, the mafia, alcohol, the afterlife, blackjack, and man-cry. He falls for a girl named Lana, but his fickle behavior makes it difficult for him to seduce her. Although Jeremy Jude believes he has significant insights into life, he is unrecognized by society. Albert Einstein had autism and was celebrated as a genius. How is this fair? "I couldn't put it down for two reasons: It was an interesting read, and I was experimenting with superglue in the kitchen." -Jeremy Jude "I have found, through personal experience, that throwing rice at a bride is only acceptable after the ceremony." -Jeremy Jude "I am surprised the P.E.T.A organization hasn't sued the Wright brothers for plagiarizing birds." -Jeremy Jude "Perhaps mother nature is tired of men having all the physical advantages, which makes me wonder if mother nature is a second-wave feminist." -Jeremy Jude "...he wore a white Lacoste polo shirt, noise-canceling headphones, a diamond-encrusted watch, and a face that only a blind mother could love." -Jeremy Jude "Doctors say a female can tell she is pregnant if she vomits and no longer uses periods in her writings." -Jeremy Jude "...there were paintings on the ceilings of semi-nude women holding fully nude babies. Perhaps Woodstock had its origins in the Catholic art movement." -Jeremy Jude "The one thing geniuses are incapable of being is irrational (believe me, I have tried on multiple occasions)." -Jeremy Jude "I find beer pong strangely primitive. The objective of the game is to see how filthy one can get a ping pong ball before throwing it into an opponents beverage." -Jeremy Jude "...I had never tried LSD before, but it was my understanding that it was essentially a stronger version of green tea." -Jeremy Jude "There must have been a caveman who served a poison ivy salad to his group; of course, he likely introduced it as an ivy salad at the time." -Jeremy Jude "I explained to her that I drank alcohol when I was his age, and it had no negative consequences for me. Of course, I omitted the story wherein I nearly drowned in an aquarium." -Jeremy Jude "...creating a romantic situation was going to be difficult with all her friends around. The best solution would be to seduce the entire group." -Jeremy Jude "I don't often get a chance to explain my theory about amnesia patients never experiencing deja vu." -Jeremy Jude "I entered the living room like Charlie Brown, who clearly suffered from chronic depression. Mocking him for his lacking athleticism was the last thing he needed." -Jeremy Jude "...we passionately, wildly kissed on a park bench. I don't think anyone saw us since the children were busy playing, and the parents were busy removing their children from the playground area." -Jeremy Jude "He laughed like Santa, if Santa were twenty pounds heavier and hated himself." -Jeremy Jude
