He Gave Me Beauty for Ashes

He Gave Me Beauty for Ashes (Isaiah 61:3) Olayinka Akingbade A Journal on my Triumph Over Breast Cancer CONTENTS Preface ....................................................................................................7 The Pains And The Sorrow ....................................................................9 Thanksgiving .......................................................................................11 Highlights ............................................................................................17 EL ME DIO BELLEZA EN LUGAR DE CENIZAS Prologo .................................................................................................37 Los Dolores Y La Pena ..........................................................................39 Agradecimietos .....................................................................................41 Refl ejos ................................................................................................47 7 PREFACE This journal was written as part of the healing process during my battle with cancer, and as an inspiration to others. I am not an experienced writer; however, jotting everything down along the way, not knowing how it was all going to end, seemed adventurous for me. Encouraged to write by my niece Dr. Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo and my friend Natalie James while I was sick, I did not realize how effective and helpful this journal was going to be. Some of the proceeds of the sale of this book will go to support the American Cancer Society, in the hopes that more patients may be placed on Abraxane, the chemotherapy medication which helped so much during my recovery process, that, although seemingly inescapable, I did not need to have a Mastectomy after all! THE PAINS AND THE SORROW While composing this work, I recalled certain feelings that I experienced but had not included in the journal: The very first time I received chemotherapy, I felt weak, nauseated, and quite aggravated from the pain on my chest. My doctor had warned me that this was going to be very strong chemotherapy, and my heart had to be strong in order to withstand it. I vomited several times, and almost vomited on my visitors! And there were times when the pain was so strong, it would hurt if I cried or laughed. Any movement was excruciatingly painful; all I could bear was to lie down on my side. I just wanted to be left alone. In fact, I remember instructing my older son I did not want to speak to anyone, including "Big Mommy", (the term of endearment my son had given to my sister Abosede Thomas, his Godmother). She had traveled from New York to Florida with her friend Yvonne Charles within 72 hours of hearing that I was admitted to the hospital, diagnosed with breast cancer. Being a competent nurse, she did nothing but shower me with care, yet I felt annoyed with all the attention. I recall her asking me if I was going through depression . . . I'm sure I was. I also remember sending away my friend Lourdes and my niece Oyinlola, who also came from New York to assist me, telling them I just wanted to be left alone. I now realize all these feelings of pain, despair, sorrow and loneliness are side effects of the chemotherapy. There were moments of confusion when I was not really sure what God was up to in all of this. Even though I trusted God knowing He's in control and on the Throne, I still had many questions without answers, wondering what this was all about and how I was going to come out of it. There were times when fear came knocking at the door, remembering what had happened to people I knew that had suffered breast cancer and El me dio Belleza en Lugar de Cenizas (Isaias 61:3) Olayinka Akingbade Diario de Mi Triunfo Sobre el Cancer de Seno PROLOGO Este diario fue escrito como parte de mi proceso de sanidad durante mi batalla contra el cancer, y como inspiración a otros. No soy una escritora con experiencia; sin embargo, el escribirlo todo durante el proceso, sin saber como este