Hbotyt

WOW! What a fuzzy book! You might have read words before, but none of them have ever been ordered like this! Ordered like that street taco after a heavy night of drinking that'll run through yer colon faster than you can find a toilet! Another exclamation point, here! Read my shit!We have two teen boys. Both alike in dignity. With desires; desires of the heart- no, nutts... their desires were in their nutts. Together night after night they watch the same movie and jerk meat to Kristen Stewart topless; (We all know how that goes when the local video store is out of Beverly Hills Cop lll) except this night... THIS NIGHT! Them boys do some kind of John Hughes thang and ride an eighties computer right inta' that gawd damn movie. Now, these boys want to touch and see them wicked titties in real life. However, problems arise because this is fiction 'n sh*t. Problems like a story whom can be compared to a donkey with no tail- 'There! There is the young lad with the tail. Will he pin it on me? I don't know;' and either do you. Come along and join these two teenage mutant middle aged boys, along with Tom Hanks Hamburger Face Suited Salesman for a non stop adventure where things happen and mostly things about Kristen Stewart's sweet cupcakes. HBOTYT was written by Bridget Chase, Bubba Love Smash and Natalie Hotdayum while aboard the international cruise ship Phillip K. Deck. The three authors, while staying on the lovely coast of Peru, went to Best Buy every morning and worked on writing this story while consuming many cups of coffee. Scholars speculate that the 'coffee' they were drinking was a devastatingly powerful mix of caffeine, whiskey and bath salts. A brew known to enhance a human's artistic abilities to the likes of which Jesus himself would become envious; as stated in Cambridge Universities studies on the Elixir. The researchers wrote, 'Beverages such as this must, MUST be made illegal because it is Right (our right) to control people Our team considered burning every page that even references our findings. No human should consume this mix, less humanity be ruined and an ultra-utopia stricken our beloved land.'A cassette tape found in Bridget's apartment reveals much about the amazing talents which the elixir delivers. One of the many entries Bridget made in his audio journal, give us insight into this artistic genius; as follows-Bridget Chase: The World is tits- I wanna touch some tits!Natalie Hotdayum: I have tits, am I the World?Bridget Chase: Lemme see...Natalie Hotdayum: (Silence) *noises- fabric*Bridget Chase: Yes, yes your boobies are the world. I have the whole world in my hands. i have the whole wide world in my hands. I have the whole world in my hands.*Door Opening*Bubba Love Smash: Hey, you said you'd wait for me to get back.Bridget Chase: SorryNatalie Hotdayum: yeah, sorry. Why don't you come feel.Bubba Love Smash: Bridget, catch!Bridget Chase: Sweet, Twinkies! Might as well finish off the week with the same breakfast we've had everyday. Oh, and I discovered that the meaning of life is about touchin' some titties.Bubba Love Smash: I'm about to jerk my meat on them Meanings!Natalie Hotdayum: Let me put my hair up. I already showered.Bridget Chase: Yep, I'm glad I didn't jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.We are lucky to have records such as these; so that future artists will know what true greatness looks like. The three not only wrote HBOTYT during their vacation together but also helped a Best Buy team member land a date with his high school sweet heart. it was a touching act of humanity as the Team member was no longer in high school. But, Bubba Love Smash in an interview on Dateline did say that the boy was successful in banging his high school crush on her prom night. So the world can thank them for that. He didn't use a condom- it felt real good.