February the Fifth

In a remarkable turn of events, a young man with a lot definitely not going for him, somehow manages to come to terms with a startling reality. He has to grow up. Being handicapped by not only having rather nasty acne and an odd eye impediment, he also has to suffer the fact that his name is February. Or at best, Feb to his very limited number of friends. While not at all wishing to rush into this startling new reality, circumstances and a few elbow nudges from his very protective elder sister ensure that his 'not at all wishing' turns out to be a complete waste of time. Thrust totally and altogether unwillingly into a position of authority by early afternoon, February finds himself with a new appendage tacked on to the end his name. The Fifth. The new and very authoritative part of his name. Of course, as is the case in all such rapid and thrusting types of promotion to positions of power, there will be those who are not happy about it. In February's case however, he finds that in fact these those amount to just about everyone apart from his three sisters. Undaunted by this reality, Feb accepts his new responsibility and by early evening sets about getting himself into a real tangle. His only true achievement being that he discovers that quite a few of these those who weren't so happy, are in fact really very upset about the whole Fifth appendage deal. By bedtime, he thinks he is in trouble. Before lunchtime the next day, he is sure. What Readers Say About Derek Haines 'Derek has a great sense of comic timing in this book and captures character extremely well. The twists and turns of the plot kept me reading right up to the last page.' Vincent - Amazon Reader 'Derek's attention to plotting and characterisation soon had me hooked and I truly wanted to know what happened to Feb and his sisters, ...' Nettie - Words and Pictures 'This time, Derek Haines goes more Dostojewski, than Adams, more boulevard of broken dreams, than the creation Of Sun and Moon by Michelangelo.' Natalie - Amazon Reader 'Douglas Adams has reincarnated and is living in Switzerland with wife and dog. Of course he has a new name these days. It's Derek Haines.' Jack - Amazon Reader 'Derek Haines has definitely raised the bar with this story. I highly recommend this book. Go buy it! Read it! You'll love it.' Steve - Amazon Reader 'As an adult and inspiring writer, I was greatly impressed with the ending. Derek's words in his last paragraph, his last two sentences, could not have been written more perfectly to end this entertaining story.' Mary - MRC-Bookreviewer 'Derek Haines plays with some crazy ideas in his head and lets his vivid imagination go wild.' Vivo -Amazon Reader 'Derek Haines has now definitively become one of the favorite persons to inhabit my Adamsy-pythonesque little universe.' Natalie - Amazon Reader 'There are touches of George Orwell and Iain Banks in Derek Haines' writing and at times this book reminded me of films such as Logan's Run and more recently, The Island. A thoroughly recommended read.' Tracy - Amazon Reader