Publisher's Synopsis
Around two in the morning, I turned off the light but still did not feel sleepy as I felt a passionate belief in my mission to humankind, showing the way to a fuller life and encouraging the willing capacity for it.
Pushing aside the thoughts of becoming a Christian writer, I focused on what was happening now and wondered whether I was suffering from hallucinations or self-deception. There could be no overstating the seriousness of the situation: undeniably, I knew I was in the very shadow of my executioner. If given the opportunity, Poe will gut me like a hog, I said to myself. The chances of this happening had never seriously occupied my thoughts for long.
Although naturally, there were moments of deep depression amid exaltation these past 29 months, one thing completely clear was that I must trust in Jesus completely.
As I lay on my back on the thin mattress and stared into the dimness, inside my head, God's voice spoke as loud as those in an outdoor city warning system did: "Pray."
With an unearthly feeling, I began to pray fervently and had an experience which I have been unable to put in plain words - an ephemeral visitation of radiance like an illumination from some other dimension, giving me in a quick flash an assurance that a spirit from a different world was with me. With that epiphany, my tongue began to speak of its own volition -- a foreign language -- and what I felt, heard, and saw was contrary to all that I had been taught in schools and at wide variance with all my former beliefs and opinions. I felt forced to suspend my doubts as I saw and heard the Holy Spirit for myself.
As I lay in silent awe, I felt a new sense of self-perception. As far back as I can remember the most important person in my life was my mother and how she saw me. Her skewed view of me probably warped my ability to see myself as I am in God's eyes.
We develop our sense of self-perception by noticing how the important people in our lives see us and value us; however, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that God wants us to see how precious we are in the light of His love by sending his only son to give his life for us.
Crucifixion was a horrible form of execution. To the Romans, it was a shameful thing: they reserved it for slaves and the worst criminals. It was a sadistic kind of torture too, for it deliberately prolonged death, sometimes for days.
During the last moments of Jesus suffering on the Cross, He uttered, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This cry of dereliction came not because of doubt, but because He was quoting Psalm 22:1. And He quoted it because He knew He was fulfilling it. The God-forsakenness that He endured was the godly sentence that our sins deserved. He was drinking the "cup" of God's wrath. Almost instantaneously came a loud cry of victory, in the single word, "finished," expressing his completion of the sin-bearing work He came to do.
R.H. Martin, author of Children of Abraham