I'm Not as Well as I Thought I Was

Paperback (04 Apr 2024)

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Publisher's Synopsis

'One of the most powerful books of the year' Daily Mail

'Nobody can make the serious funny and the funny serious quite like Ruby.' - Alastair Campbell

Dear Reader,

Checking into a mental clinic wasn't exactly on my radar in 2022. Writing about it wasn't either. But here we are.

I spent a lifetime trying to create a 'front' to give everyone the illusion that all is well. It wasn't, and it isn't. Now I look back and I think, 'what the f*ck was that all about?'

I began the book trying to find meaning by going on various, life-changing journeys, I ended up in a mental clinic; obviously things didn't work out the way I expected. This is the story of what happened after the mental car crash . . . From then on, the journey had to turn inward. It turns out I wasn't looking for meaning, I was looking for home.

I'm not a fiction writer. I can't fake it. I could say I rode into the sunset, but life isn't like that unless you're a cowboy. Truth is I'm not as well as I thought I was.

These days, trying to stay sane in a completely chaotic world makes life incredibly difficult. For those readers who are deep in the darkness of mental illness, I hope my book makes you feel less alone.

Take care, love,
Ruby x

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'If you buy only one book this year, make it this one.' - Joanna Lumley

'A true tour de force. We're all a little messed up in our own ways, but we should all strive to be as fabulously fearless as Ruby.' - Fearne Cotton

As seen on Channel 5 Castaway


Sunday Times bestseller, May 2023

Book information

ISBN: 9780241554913
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Imprint: Penguin Life
Pub date:
DEWEY: 791.45092
DEWEY edition: 23
Language: English
Number of pages: 208
Weight: 162g
Height: 197mm
Width: 128mm
Spine width: 15mm