Publisher's Synopsis
Morning-room in Algernon's flat in Half-Moon Street. The room is luxuriously and artisticallyfurnished. The sound of a piano is heard in the adjoining room.[Lane is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has ceased, Algernon enters.]Algernon. Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?Lane. I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.Algernon. I'm sorry for that, for your sake. I don't play accurately-any one can play accurately-but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. Ikeep science for Life.Lane. Yes, sir.Algernon. And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumber sandwiches cut forLady Bracknell?Lane. Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]Algernon. [Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . . by the way, Lane, I seefrom your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining withme, eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed.Lane. Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.Algernon. Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink thechampagne? I ask merely for information.Lane. I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in marriedhouseholds the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.Algernon. Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?Lane. I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to thepresent. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding betweenmyself and a young person.Algernon. [Languidly.] I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.Lane. No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.
